VIII - Courtship
Courting death is not unlike courting love. It takes
planning, luck, and the right timing to make things fall into place. And even then,
there is no guarantee that things will work out the way you wish. I once spent
six months courting a young woman. I met her on a trip and became
infatuated within two hours’ time over drinks. We spoke of poetry, the ways of
the world, and more intimate things. I vowed to write to her and one day, if
things were right, I’d invite her to my home, so we could be together. The
letters quickly were sent but none were returned. The feelings, no matter how
strong, were not shared and the courtship failed.
In courting
death, I have found it requires an equal amount of luck and timing. I was lucky
thus far in my practice sessions killing the tramps in the alleyways of my
city. I left no traces, not out of meticulous practice but out of shear luck
that no traces had been left. No witnesses, no inkling that I was the culprit.
The time was always pristine as well. Early dusk, low-light, and in shadowed
places. The instances were almost handed to me on silver platter. I had never
seen such circumstances befall me in any other endeavor in my life. Be it
related to finding love, having work become a success or my machinations come to
fruition. All seemed to be going correctly in this new goal.
So, when
on the third day of my sisters stay with Geoffrey and I, I found that I was
without a clear path to my success I was at a loss. An impasse had befallen me.
I emerged
from my room, having recovered from my stricken state to find Geoffrey and Elaine being very forward and forthcoming in their embraces. I was confused,
and I assumed they could see the confusion on my face as they sat me down.
Geoffrey had looked at me, then looked back to Elaine before speaking as if
getting a go ahead from my sister to speak.
“Reggie.”
“Reginald,
please.” I said correcting him. I wasn’t in the mood for his pet name for me,
but I could not place why. The air in the room seemed thick with deceit.
“Reginald,
we have news.”
“News? More
murders?” I tried to play it off, guess at what they were going to say to me
but I knew there was something deeper, something more divisive about to be laid
upon my me.
“No,
brother, please listen.” Elaine said laying a hand on my knee. I twitched,
wanting to brush her hand away but I abstained the action and simply shut my
mouth.
“There
is something we must tell you. It is no surprise to me that Elaine is here on
such strange occasion.” Geoffrey began. His voice was feeble as if he just came
in from the cold.
“I
know, my mother wrote me, you know this. She said my sister wanted to visit.”
“Yes,
but…” Geoffrey
hesitated and looked to his hands.
“But?
But what? Spit it out you bumbling fool.” I exclaimed. The fever I had just
broke now returned to my face. My sister shot me a hot glance and took her hand
from my knee and placed it on Geoffrey’s shoulder to steady him.
“I knew
your sister was coming to our home for quite some time before you did. I didn’t
want to keep it from you, but I wasn’t sure how to engage you with the
situation. I asked her to come. For you see, we are betrothed.”
The weight
of the news didn’t hit me all at once in that moment. I had suspected it from
the outset. Geoffrey’s amiability towards my sister always seemed more than
normal given their time together and ultimately apart. Perhaps they had courted
each other in the same way I had attempted with my old flame. Letters, in
secret from me, between each other until they could be together.
Normally,
I believe at least, I would have been ecstatic for them. Overjoyed at the
union. Who better to serve my sister as husband than my oldest and truest friend
Geoffrey? And again, who best to be my oldest friend’s wife than my straight
witted and beautiful sister? They were, for all measures, a great match. But
the itch under my skin prevented me from showing a smile. I’m sure to them I looked
like a perturbed and flabbergasted father figure sitting as I was in the den in
my lounge wear, hair still a mess from sleep, three days of hair upon my face,
and a gruff, post illness scowl forming my lips. In a way I was the father figure.
After the passing of our father years ago I was the sole patriarchal figure to
my family. So now, it would seem, there were coming to me with their wishes for
consent.
A part
of me did wish to give consent. However, the darkness in me was exploding in a fury.
I had felt that no matter the circumstances Geoffrey would not become an
obstacle, unless he were to unknowingly stumble upon my rituals. I would spare
him. As he was not a part of the dark machinations, I would spare him outright.
But now, he was forcing himself between me and my prize. Here sat my sister,
young, and beautiful and ripe for the taking, and for all fate’s cruel jokes my
greatest oldest truest friend had to be involved with her. I could not keep my promise.
If I were to complete my trial, I would have to take them both.
They could
not know these gears turning in my head, but I could see on their faces they
saw my disgust whatever the reason. Geoffrey turned to Elaine and whispered.
“I told
you we should have waited until he was ready to hear this. I’ve gone and made
and enemy of my greatest friend.”
“He
hasn’t said anything, perhaps he is just mulling things over.”
“I can
hear you.” I said with gritted teeth. The idea of breaking my
promise tore at my more than the idea of spilling my sister’s blood. The latter
was an accepted circumstance of goals needing achievement, the former being a
black stain on my human soul. I did not hate them for their secret proposals
and engagement. I did not hate them for their love. I did not even hate them
for sneaking around me with their plans and ruses. None of that touched a hair
on my head. What infuriated me was the fact they would do this to me when all
seemed to be going so well. That they, the two most important people in my
life, would attempt to turn such an important and up till now simple task into
such a hassle!
I was
seething. Breathing between my teeth. I turned from them and stood. I threw my
hands to the side and let out a great sigh. I could only do this without facing
them. Thankfully for me the demon did no have eyes on the back of my head. I
wished not to hear or see their expressions.
“Hear
me now. Do not react to what I am about to say until I have left the room. I
find that I am still unwell and must once again retire.”
Silence
descended upon the den. The chirping of birds came and went beyond the windows
in the garden. The creaking of old wood set into old walls echoed. The beating
of my heart sounded like a bellowing drum in a deep chasm. I hoped they
could not hear it.
“I
consent to this.” I held up my hand to shush any excitement from this
affirmation. I heard a whimper as mouths were shut tightly and breathing
steadied.
“You
are the two must beloved in my life. And I am…happy to know you found each
other. Now please, leave me to retire once again. Sister, I’m sorry to be ill
with you present, especially with such…great news to share with me. Now please
I must leave you.” I shuffled away quickly back up the stairs and shut the door
hard before I could make out their quiet exclamations of excitement. In the
dark of my room, now devoid of any arrant light, I felt the shadow beast tug at
me.
“Do it,
kill them now, in the den while they are distracted. The chalice is there, they
are there. Kill them, now!” it boomed in my head. I shook the voice away.
“No. I
will do it in due time.”
“Why do
you hesitate?”
I peered
into the mirror on my nightstand and saw the demon in the shadow hanging over
my shoulder. I smiled and bared my teeth to it. My eyes widened.
“How
much sweeter will the blood be now that their love is affirmed? I shall strike
them down at their height of their happiness. I will destroy what they both
love before their very eyes.” I looked over my shoulder and felt the presence
shudder. I flung myself upon my bed once more. My mind was aflame, and my body
was fatigued.
“I must
find a way to renew my strength. I must return to my former self, for a few
more days. I must…I must.”
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